Thursday, September 25, 2008

Momma's gone CSI

That's right, I am collecting evidence. Evidence of how horrible my dogs can behave. Evidence of how sloppy my child and husband can be. Evidence of why I should be sent to some tropical paradise for a month long vacation without any of them.

I got out the fancy Canon this afternoon and my rubber gloves and hit the path, the path of destruction they tend to leave throughout the house and yard.

What sparked this CSI-like hunt you ask? Oh, just a little thing called 'the sound of breaking glass'. Yep that's where it all started, right here....

This was a glass of Kool Aid I left unattended on the patio as I snuck inside to go to the bathroom. God forbid I go alone and leave the child or dogs without strict supervision for 2 minutes. This was the handy work of my 5.5 month old doberman.
It's just a glass of Kool Aid, right? I got it cleaned up and no one cut themselves on the glass. However, that was just the beginning, see the following evidence photos for more destruction caused by my lovely little doberman friend (all caused this week of course).

She completely tore up her dog bed. Yes, her crate is in the garage because she would not stop howling/screaming at me the other day when I put her in there to calm down.
She chewed on my cedar planters.
She dug a hole, wait make that two holes, and took a poo in my flower bed. Thankfully it is closed for the winter so I do not have to go weeding around in her poo.
She stole my pen and highlighter and ran off into the grass to chew them up.
She brought dirt into the house and deposited it on the kitchen floor I just mopped yesterday (twice mopped because right after I mopped she came in and muddied it up).
Then there's my husband...Apparently the 5 feet walk from the shower to the laundry room is too much for him, so he stacks up dirty wash cloths on the shower floor for me to gather each week.
He leaves his smelly socks all over the house when he strips them off after work.
He also cannot seem to put his hair products back in the drawer, instead he likes to leave them all over the bathroom counter for me to take care of.
Then of course there is the child, the sweet, caring, snuggle bug child, who has me pulling my hair out this week with his wild behavior, loud voice and constant rebellion against all rules and chores.

This here is a pile of toilet paper in our main bathroom. Yes, it is on the floor. When I saw this I asked him "what happened to all this toilet paper?"...his reply "it is for my dog to poop on". That would be his stuffed dog, not our actual puppy. Where does he come up with this stuff and why does it require such a mess?
There were many more messes created by the child this morning, however they required yelling with frustration like a drill sargaent until he cleaned them up. After which, the following sign was made, discussed and hung up in his bedroom to remind him what to do every day.

Now when you see me on Court TV trying to get these boys and dogs locked up or on trial for something horrible because they did not cooperate with me and I lost my mind, you will know that there is evidence of what I have been dealing with. I am not crazy. Well maybe I am, but if so, it's their fault for pushing and pushing and making me clean up after them. Right?!


Jess said...

WOW Andrea! LOL Sorry about those two.

Anonymous said...

Wow you are really patient with that family of yours.

Lindsey said...

oh man, i'm sorry but boy can i relate! we have two, one snotty brat who pees on anything that belongs to my daughter, and one LARGE dalmation who is 7 months old and finds that he cannot help but destroy everything and anything that is outside the walls of our house... inlcuding hoses, shovels, shoes of course, brooms, he even ate the bleach bottle that I keep next to the washing machine. THis dog is driving me insane!!! (But then he looks at me with those big brown eyes, and what can i say? i love dogs)

Minxy Mimi said...

Oh boy!!!
How frustrating for you. Does your DH make sure the doggie gets a lot of attention? Sometimes animals will act out if lonely and wanting attention.Or is it Dobermans just being Dobermans?

JLT6907 said...

I feel your pain, girl! my kids and dh are the same exact way! I only have a pet snake so he doesn't make messes, but i am left to clean up after everyone. I'm <> this close to going on strike and running away to that tropical island as well!

Cathy said...

Lol, awesome. I feel your pain. Don't we play the role everyday?

Storm said...

I am giggling, but I feel your pain!

I don't think I own a single pen without chew marks at this point, lol. I who loathes plastic, now use plastic cups because I got tired of the broken glass. And do not get me started on my DH and everything he leaves around! Men!

Sahm Lee said...

Saw you at the The Not-So-Blog! I totally know how you feel with the whole mess! My hubby can't be bothered to walk 6 inches to a trash can to throw something away and don't even get me started on the laundry!